she's going to say more but a void jumpscares her.
you are seven years old. maybe six. you can't remember exactly.
you are standing in the sewers under new delsta. a man is standing in front of you - you don't know his name, or even what he's done wrong. father didn't tell you, and you didn't ask. he said you had a job to do, and you didn't argue. you're not supposed to. and he said - he said he'd get you your favorite after this, so you go along with it.
the man in front of you whimpers, and stumbles back, falling to his knees. he's terrified of - well, probably not you. he's probably scared of father. a lot of people are. you are too, sometimes, when he looks at you like he does. one time, you watched a pack of wild dogs tear into a rat on the street, and watched the way they salivated and growled, the way they ripped it apart with a sort of gleeful air. the way father looks at you sometimes reminds you of that.
"Go on, give it a try," his gentle, encouraging voice comes from behind you. you frown, looking at the man in a crumpled heap on the ground.
"I can't do it," you say, quietly, shaking your head.
"You're still young and naive, Throné," he sighs, exasperated. "You're wasting your sympathy. He's the worst sort of scum there is."
he tells you this like he's coaxing you to eat your vegetables. you think this is very different, though. you don't want to. you hesitate.
"Come now, Throné. Once you kill him, you'll understand," he continues, putting his hand on his hip. his eyes never leave the man on the ground, and his voice gets a little lower. wistful, almost. "You'll see how intoxicating the smell of blood can be. Soon enough you'll want to spread it on your bread like butter."
you... frown even harder. no. that doesn't sound good at all. you're not sure.
"I'd rather have raspberries..." you mumble, rubbing at your eye.
he laughs. like it's a silly thing you said, that you want to have fruit to eat instead of blood. of course, of course, you amusing child.
"Everyone is born with a gift," father says. "The gods bestow us all with a job only we can do. It is our fate. Your gift was wielding a dagger, Throné. If you want to live, you must learn to kill."
you know, as his tone gets a little harsher, that he's reaching the end of his patience. you're not supposed to say no this much. so, you bite your lip, and shake your head to clear it. the dagger in your hand feels familiar, but... you've never used it this way before. not on a person. you know how to slice and dodge and you know where all the best spots on a person are to kill them, but you've never actually done it. until now.
you take a few steps forward. and without a word, you shove it through the man's throat. he tries to get away from you, and in the seconds that pass you realize he's afraid of you. this doesn't make you feel anything. maybe a little sad. but father said. and you have to. so - you do, and he slides off your blade and gurgles, eyes glazing over. you step back a few times so that the blood doesn't get on your shoes, and you feel a little like crying. you don't, though.
"Very good. Just as I expected," father says breathlessly, moving forward to marvel over your work. "How was it, my dear?"
you stare down at the body.
"The smell of blood... I hate it."
and she kind of just... makes a face because she forgot these were a thing.]
[ well. okay, out of all the memories he's experienced here, this is probably the one that's sat the worst with him. a lot less because of the blood and murder (nothing he hasn't seen plenty of at this point) than because of what a fucking creep her father was. his parents have done some royally fucked up shit to them, but it was always for comedy, even if it got pretty dark sometimes. at the end of the day, they're a weird as hell but loving family, so watching this guy... it's kind of nauseating. ]
[ even he's got some that are pretty fucked up... though when the void pulls them back again, it opts for a more wholesome memory instead that serves to contrast how starkly different their family experiences are. ]
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she's going to say more but a void jumpscares her.
and she kind of just... makes a face because she forgot these were a thing.]
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...Sorry.
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[a couple of people have seen this one, and she's not too fussed about it.]
Not exactly something that is... fun to watch.
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[she glances at him.] And I've done a lot since.
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[ even he's got some that are pretty fucked up... though when the void pulls them back again, it opts for a more wholesome memory instead that serves to contrast how starkly different their family experiences are. ]
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what even is this show this is so funny. anyway, when they come out of it, she kind of sucks in a sharp breath, and tilts her head back. mmm...]
... A big family. [she murmurs, rubbing at her face a little.] That was - nice, I think.
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Yeah. I mean, my brothers are all pretty shitty, but... it's not so bad most of the time.
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You always have someone with you who will love you. [she says, with a little smile.] So... yes. Not so bad.